A Clear Warning

One of the tools of discipline is a clear warning. It can actually be a teaching tool because it helps children know how to anticipate consequences of their actions. Furthermore a clear warning clarifies for your children that what you have said wasn't just a suggestion, but that you meant business.
When you give a warning, it is important to obtain eye contact, speak calmly but firmly, and clarify both the instruction and the consequence that will come if the child doesn't respond. A clear warning says: "If you don't finish your homework you won't be able to watch TV after supper." Or, "If you can't play nicely with your friend, he will have to go home."
A warning is different than a threat. Threats are emotional responses usually spoken out of anger or desperation with an exaggerated or ambiguous consequence, rarely leading to a consequence. "If you don't clean up these toys right now, I'm going to throw them all away!" Or, "If you don't come with me now, I'm going to leave you here!" These are threats, not warnings.
Warnings aren't always necessary. If a child hits another and you've already established a rule for such things, then it's understood that this is wrong and you can move directly to the consequence. If you do use a warning, just give it once. Instead of a process like this: instruction, warning, follow through, some parents have a process that looks like this: instruction, warning, warning, warning, warning, explosion with anger.

Make a clear warning part of your discipline strategy and you will teach children important lessons about life and help them predict their own consequences for their decisions.

What benefits have you seen in your family from a clear warning? Let me know!


1 comment (Add your own)

1. sangok wrote:
Thy will be done. What a freeing and fnrihtenigg statement all in one. It is His will that I wish to be done in my life, the lives of my family, and in the lives of those around me. I want His will to be drawn closer, to fall under His grace, to have His heart Yet, as many moms out there know, letting our children's lives and grace fall under Him alone is difficult. We feel we are soley responsible for taking care of our children we and our spouses and families. But each day the Lord's Prayer reminds me of who is really in charge and how easily my children get it. In charge of our lives, our money, our careers So much to learn and comprehend in such a brief prayer. May each of us learn and grow throughout this year how He is really teaching us and what He really desires for us. Bless each of you.

Sat, April 28, 2012 @ 3:15 AM

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