Getting physically close to your child is important when giving instructions, especially with teenagers. Teens need relationship whether they'll admit it or not. In fact, the stronger the relationship, the less likely you'll get resistance.
Giving InstructionsThe word "instruction" comes from the words "in" and "structure" and basically means "to put structure into." When someone comes on the scene and gives instructions, that person brings structure to the situation and helps people know what to do. Dad or Mom sees the need to clean up around the house or get ready to go out and begins giving instructions to move the family in a positive direction.
When children are unhappy they look for ways to draw their parents into a fight. Kids know just where your buttons are and how to push them to make you angry. "Dad wouldn't do it that way," or "You never let me have fun," might be all that's needed to create the volcano effect. When children get angry and are looking for a fight, it's as if they step into the boxing ring and invite you to join them.
Unmotivated children are generally passive, cooperative, flexible, easygoing, and accommodating. These children may be easier to get along with because they lack the drive of strong-willed kids, but parents also struggle with these children at times. They may not have the fortitude to stand up for themselves, withstand temptation, or push hard to complete a task. They’re sometimes people-pleasers and may be easily directed in positive or negative ways, depending on who they’re with.
Even unmotivated kids wrestle with issues and questions in their hearts, although you may not see it as clearly as in the strong-willed child. Some children process things more internally and aren’t as transparent. These children appear compliant, allowing others to make decisions or take the lead, but their anger may be growing inside.
Sometimes parents overlook the unmotivated child because she isn’t causing any trouble, generally gets along with people, and appears easygoing. It may be more difficult to know what’s going on in this child’s heart. Understanding this child requires some extra work and effort.
The Bible tell us of people who needed a little extra motivation to get moving in the right direction. God often came alongside people such as Moses, Elijah, and Jacob to motivate them to take initiative when they might not have done so otherwise. Unmotivated children often need the brush cleared off their paths of life. Children who tend to give up easily need help to see the path more clearly so they can take the steps necessary for success.
- The Unmotivated Child
- Sad Instead of Mad
- "That's Not Fair!"
- Look Out For Boasting
- Explain New Rules Before You Start
- Problem Solving & Decision Making
- The Conscience Needs Training
- Building Relationship Makes Kids More Responsive
- Your Child has a Conscience
- The Benefit of Reporting Back
- Addressing Sibling Conflict, Discipline Kids Separately
- Tasks, Problems and Conflict
- Kids Struggle in Different Ways
- Is There a Difference Between Honor and Respect?
- Help Children Take Responsibility - Part 2
- Help Children Take Responsibility - Part 1
- Patterns in Family Life
- Be a Coach to Your Children
- Teaching Tool: A Clear Warning
- "But My Anger is Justified"
- Learn to Recognize Emotional Signals
- Teaching Children Honor In The Bathroom
- Overcoming Selfishness With Honor
- What is Your Action Point?