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The Unmotivated Child

Written by Debbie Parker. Posted in Parenting Corner

Unmotivated children are generally passive, cooperative, flexible, easygoing, and accommodating. These children may be easier to get along with because they lack the drive of strong-willed kids, but parents also struggle with these children at times. They may not have the fortitude to stand up for themselves, withstand temptation, or push hard to complete a task. They’re sometimes people-pleasers and may be easily directed in positive or negative ways, depending on who they’re with.

Even unmotivated kids wrestle with issues and questions in their hearts, although you may not see it as clearly as in the strong-willed child. Some children process things more internally and aren’t as transparent. These children appear compliant, allowing others to make decisions or take the lead, but their anger may be growing inside.

Sometimes parents overlook the unmotivated child because she isn’t causing any trouble, generally gets along with people, and appears easygoing. It may be more difficult to know what’s going on in this child’s heart. Understanding this child requires some extra work and effort.

The Bible tell us of people who needed a little extra motivation to get moving in the right direction. God often came alongside people such as Moses, Elijah, and Jacob to motivate them to take initiative when they might not have done so otherwise. Unmotivated children often need the brush cleared off their paths of life. Children who tend to give up easily need help to see the path more clearly so they can take the steps necessary for success.

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Sad Instead of Mad

Written by Debbie Parker. Posted in Parenting Corner

Often parents have a poor repertoire of discipline techniques so they do what comes naturally—they use anger as a consequence. Anger becomes the punishment that children learn to fear and the result is distance in relationships. Parents want to express disapproval for misbehavior and anger becomes the vehicle for showing it.

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"That's Not Fair!"

Written by Debbie Parker. Posted in Parenting Corner

Competition between siblings is often demonstrated by the statement, "That's not fair" or "What about him?" Competition stems from comparison and often creates conflict in relationships between brothers and sisters.

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Look Out For Boasting

Written by Debbie Parker. Posted in Parenting Corner

One of the three causes of sibling conflict is that children want to be first or best. In fact, they often want to exalt themselves and put others down. When a child boasts a lot, it should be a flag that this area needs some attention. Kids say things like, "I know how to do that" or "I can do that better than you." Children try to feel good about themselves by focusing on their own accomplishments. They seem to say, “I feel good about myself if I can tell you how much better I am.”  Sometimes children think that just because they did it faster or neater, than they're more valuable, but that’s not the way to measure importance.